1 Year Ago Today, Plus 7 Month Pic!

One year ago today, on Halloween of 2013, Jon, Wyatt and I walked in to a routine sonogram to catch a glimpse of our new precious baby at 19 weeks.  What was supposed to be an exciting, fun day turned into a slightly worrisome day when we were told that there was something wrong with our baby.  We were referred to a high risk clinic to find out more information.  So tomorrow, November 1st, marks one year from the day that we were told that our baby was not likely to survive and were given very specific instructions on what to do "when" we miscarried.  And we were told it would probably happen in the next week or so.  This month has taken me down memory lane over and over again...especially all the sights and sounds.  Last year I watched, with joy, my precious boys jumping in leaves with a loved baby in my belly, knowing she may not make it.  This year I got to watch the boys playing in the leaves with Maggie on my hip.  Last year I watched all the leaves on our tree die and fall off...but first they turned a vibrant red and it was a beautiful sight to behold.  Just like the tree, we found beauty in the precious time we had with Maggie before she left us.  This year she got to see the leaves change colors with her own two beautiful eyes.  Last year we went trick or treating with the boys while trying to put the worries out of our mind for an evening so we could focus on giving the boys a fun experience.  This year I bought THREE costumes.  We may not trick or treat for very long because all five of us are all alive and healthy enough to be blessed with the common cold!!  I am in tears writing this.  We are so, so, so blessed.  During that time of pain there was so much beauty and I wouldn't trade that experience for the world.  I will never be able to stop thanking and praising Jesus for my wonderful husband, my precious Wyatt and Jack, and our little miracle Maggie.  She was 7 months old on October 24th and she brings us so much joy.

Video of Maggie's Story

Here is a testimony video of Baby Maggie's miracle story!  Click the link below and enjoy! :)

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=300199093498742

6 months old, family pic, and an invitation to YOU!

6 MONTHS OLD!!

Maggie was 6 months old on September 24th!!  She's such an adorable, happy and content baby.  Her brothers absolutely adore her and they are so sweet to her!

FAMILY PICTURE!!

On October 10th we had a fun day celebrating Jack's 2nd birthday!  What a special little boy!  We are so blessed!!!

AN INVITATION TO YOU!!

On October 18th at Crosspoint church in Hays, KS, Maggie and I will be speaking at their women's fall refresher.  Well I guess I will be speaking...Maggie will just sit there looking cute. ;)  I am going to tell about Maggie's story and everything God has done in our lives through that situation.  Also, my mom will be singing!

It starts at 10:30 am and there is a lunch following for anyone who attends.  If you live in the area, Maggie and I would LOVE you to come!  We would love to meet some of the wonderful people who followed her story and prayed for her.  Hope to see you there!

Crosspoint Church

1300 Harvest Rd.

Hays, KS 67601

1 Month Old!!

Maggie is 1 month old today! Can you even believe it?!?  For those of you who have not heard the full story of Maggie's journey, here is a glimpse into an amazing, real-life miracle:

•19 weeks:  "This is not a baby who is likely to survive.  Sorry.  If you are still pregnant in a week we will do another sono."

•20 weeks:  "There is so much fluid that IF this baby ends up surviving the pregnancy, the lungs just wouldn't have room to develop."

•Almost 22 weeks:  "You guys seem to be pretty optimistic...you may want to tone that down a bit."

•The next day:  "It appears she has a viral infection.  The liver is infected, the fluid doesn't seem to currently be hurting anything, and I'm seeing overlapping sutures in the skull, a sign that her brain has shrunk.  I have only seen that in babies who have already died.  She could possibly survive, but if she does, damage has already been done and there WILL be issues [with the brain].  One of your options is that you have two healthy kids at home and maybe you just don't want to deal with this right now..."

•25 weeks:  "Things look about the same and I don't think there will be any issues with the lungs developing and I think there is a good chance she will at least survive the pregnancy!  We will do an MRI to see how much damage has been done to the brain so we can get an idea of what to expect."

•Almost 29 weeks:  "Wow, the fluid is almost gone!  Liver looks about the same and we aren't seeing the issue with the skull but that could just be the angle so it doesn't necessarily mean improvement.  We will see what the MRI shows."

•2 days later:  "The MRI shows the brain to look VERY NORMAL!"

•31 to almost 34 weeks:  "The tiny amount of fluid in the abdomen still remains and is still not a major concern.  Her liver looks the same which we expect to see for the rest of the pregnancy because the calcification is a sign that there has been an infection, kind of like a scar. We will have to wait until she is born to find out whether or not any infection remains."

•Almost 35 weeks:  "The fluid is gone!!"

•35 until almost 40 weeks:  "Since her brain looks normal, the fluid is gone, and we see signs that the infection is going away or gone, we are at best case scenario for the situation as far as we can tell with her still inside.  Now we just have to wait until she is born to see if she will have any medical issues.  We will have a NICU team at her birth and we will run all necessary tests to asses her health and determine what treatments she will need."

•March 24th, 2014 at 10:52 am, 2 days before her due date:  "Congratulations!  She is 7 lbs, 7 oz and 20 inches long.  She is healthy enough that she can spend some time with you in your room before we take her up to the NICU for observation and testing!

•Over the next several days:  "There are no signs of viral infection of the liver or brain.  Her diagnosis is prenatal perforated bowel.  Bowel contents caused the infection and fluid in her abdomen.  This condition has healed without medical intervention.  We can't explain what happened with the brain.  You have a completely healthy baby girl!"

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

We are so blessed that God gave us our precious miracle and we are so blessed that so many of you prayed your heart out to our Savior on her behalf.  We were also so blessed to have God's peace throughout the whole journey (even when we knew God may choose to take her home) because of what Jesus did for us on the cross.  If you have not ever experienced this peace and would like to know how, I would LOVE to talk with you.  Please email me!!  mandie-lou@hotmail.com

3/31 Update

I'm going to steal my mother-in-law's wording from Facebook because she summarized it very well:

"Maggie is doing very well. She came home from the NICU yesterday. They will recheck her bilirubin level again today. She is eating, sleeping, and pooping! She is very alert when awake. There are no signs of viral infection of the liver or brain. Her discharge diagnosis was prenatal perforated bowel. Bowel contents caused the infection and fluid in her abdomen. This condition has healed without medical intervention. We have a healthy baby girl thanks only to God's marvelous grace. I give Him all the glory!"

(Her bilirubin levels were still good today so we will not need to check again until next Monday.)

Back in the NICU

Well unfortunately Maggie is back in the NICU. This time it's due to her bilirubin levels. They are elevated to the point that they wanted to get her in for phototherapy. They don't seem overly concerned but it's something that they wanted to address right away. Feeding, peeing, pooping, and hanging out under the light are the things that will bring her levels down the fasted. We'll be in overnight for sure, but hopefully this stay won't stretch out for days.

Papa T and Nana D got to meet Maggie for the first time today! They pulled into town just in time to meet us at the hospital...theygot to hold her for just a couple of minutes before we had to whisk her away to the bili light. Pray Maggie comes home quickly so she will get more snuggle time with them before they have to head back home!!

Pictures and Visits

PICTURES:

Click here to see Maggie's Birth.

(My birth photographer and her daughter had influenza so she was unable to attend. My mom took over the job.)

VISITS:

A lot of people are asking when they can stop by and visit...I would LOVE to have visitors and show Maggie off, but just make sure and text, call, message or email me first to let me know when you would like to stop by so I can make sure it's a good time. I also want to make sure I don't have too many people showing up at once so I get to spend time with each person who visits!  -Amanda

PS...click here for Baby Maggie's Journey's Facebook page.  "Like" to follow our posts on FB.  I am much more timely on posting updates to Facebook than I am to the blog.

3/27 Update

We were in the "rooming-in" room of the NICU last night since Amanda was discharged but they wanted to keep Maggie for a tad more observation and testing. These are bigger rooms that are designed to be comfortable for the parents (queen-sized bed, microwave, minifridge). It's awesome that they have these available. She slept really well and allowed us to get some good sleep as well. We hope that's a sign of things to come! She had her vision/eye screening this morning and that came back with good results. Since the last update a few other tests and screenings have come back with positive results as well. The doctors are satisfied and Maggie and Amanda get to come home today! After she's home she will have the typical appointments and exams with her pediatrician and some more of the slower lab results will continue to trickle in. We couldn't be happier and or more excited to get her home. We ended up with the very best of the best-case scenarios and we know it was due to all the prayer and love from everyone who has shared in this with us. I also can't say enough good things about the care she received while in the NICU. The doctors, nurses, and staff are all amazingly skilled at what they do and it's clear that they have a love for these NICU babies that need their care.

Another 3/25 Update

Another 3/25 update: We got a few more results back this afternoon. An MRI was ordered earlier today as part of the process of ruling out or detecting signs of a viral infection. Even though their suspicions have since changed, that order was left in place. The results came back clear. They didn't see anything abnormal on the MRI that would cause them to suspect viral infection. We also received positive results with the upper GI that was done earlier today. Nothing abnormal was noted. They did note that Maggie is not a fan of barium, however.

Thanks again to all of you who continue to keep Maggie in your prayers. While you're praying for her, please also say a prayer for the other babies who are here in the NICU, and their parents. We pass them daily in the halls and it's a constant reminder that we are surrounded by a lot of heartache and medical issues that we will never know about. -Jon

3/25 Update

Update: We just had a visit with Maggie's NICU doctor this morning. They're completely switching gears in terms of their thinking on what may have happened to Maggie. They're moving away from their focus on a possible viral infection and focusing instead on the possibility that Maggie suffered a bowel perforation...one that may have already healed itself (best case scenario). There are several factors that are pointing them in this direction, but they'll continue to rule out viral infection. This is good news because the prognoses are far better for this scenario than those for viral infection. Testing for this new route of thought begins now, starting with an upper GI series. This will lengthen Maggie's NICU stay by a couple days, but, like I said, it's even better news, so we'll take it!

She's Here!!

Baby Maggie was born at 10:52am!! She weighs 7 lbs 7 oz and is 20 inches. She's looking great and got to spend some time with us before she headed to the NICU. Mom is doing great as well!

Headed to the Hospital!!

FINALLY!!!!  We are finally headed to the hospital!! :)  Please pray for another quick labor and for me to have the mental and physical strength I need to make it through my last natural birth.  Pray that Maggie is healthy and that we get to spend some time with her before they take her to the NICU for testing.  Also pray for the grandparents to have safe trips to KC to meet their granddaughter.

Thank you all for being a part of this journey with us!!  I can not possibly express how excited I am to get the chance soon to announce that Maggie has finally entered the world!! :)

First Day of Spring...10 Years!!

Today is the first day of spring...and it is also our 10 year wedding anniversary!!  I cannot even believe how fast 10 years have gone!!

We have done a lot together in 10 years.  We have had the opportunity to laugh together play together and have a lot of fun together.  We have traveled to Hawaii and Alaska together.  We have eaten a lot of amazing meals together because we both love to eat! :)  We have supported each other through several different jobs.  We bought our first and second houses together.  Jon went back to school and changed careers and we supported each other through that time together.  We experienced 3 heartbreaking years of infertility together.  We experienced the joys of having our first child together.  We experienced the heartbreak of losing a child to miscarriage together.  And then we shared the joy of having our second child.  We have experienced the struggles and joys of being parents to our precious boys together.  We have experienced the heartbreak of being told that our third child would not be likely to survive.  We have grown in our faith of an amazing God together.  We have shared the overwhelming joy of seeing miracles happen right in front of us.  We are about to share in the joys of having our third child and our first baby girl.  What a ride these first 10 years have been!!

Jon is an amazing person and he amazes me more every day.  He is a strong person who is confident in what he believes and what he wants.  When he decides he wants to do something, he dives right in.  He's loyal, trustworthy and kind.  He does not let his emotions rule him.  He is always taking steps to better himself.  He's always seeking to learn how to be a better father, husband, pilot, employee, boss, financial steward, and athlete.  Anything he does he gives it his all.

I have learned so much from him and have grown so much stronger as a person because of him.  Because of him I am more confident in who God made me and worry less about what other people think of me.  He has encouraged me to be confident in my decisions and in myself.  He has taught me how to make a decision and dive into something I want to do instead of analyzing the decision for years and never actually getting around to it.  He has taught me to not let my emotions control me and my decisions (as much...haha).  He has encouraged me to better myself in any and every area I can.  He gets under my skin and pushes me, but in the end the push is usually what I need.  I love that we grow better and stronger together every day.

Marriage is a symbol of Christ's love for His church.  My prayer is that we are and example of this.  Nothing is more important than our relationship with Him and it is my hope and desire that our marriage will point others to a relationship with Him.  We are not perfect.  We have a long ways to go.  We screw up...A LOT!!!  But my prayer is that Jon and I continue to grow in our relationship with Christ, keep Him at the center of our marriage, and that this already beautiful marriage will just get stronger and more amazing.

I love you with all of my heart, Jon!!  I am so glad that God made you for me and that we get to grow stronger together for the rest of our lives!  Happy Anniversary!! :)

39 Weeks!!

I am 39 weeks along today!!  I have to admit, I was pretty convinced that I wouldn't make it this far...I really thought Maggie was going to come sometime in the 38th week!!  But, although I'm VERY impatient to meet this baby girl that 20 weeks ago we were told we would most likely never meet, I'm just grateful that she is doing so well no matter WHEN she comes.

I am actually feeling amazingly well for this far along in pregnancy!!  Usually by now I am miserable and in sooo much pain (not to mention I was a crazy WRECK only a few short weeks ago).  But this time around I'm feeling pretty good, minimal pain, calm, rested and ready.  God has lifted me out of the craziness and brought me back to a peaceful place.  "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:30, 31 NIV)

Thank you to everyone who pitched in and helped us when I was "weary" and "stumbling"!!  Thank you to those who offered words of encouragement, who prayed for me and my family, who brought us meals (they have been delicious and have helped so much!), who have helped me around the house (another lifesaver!!)...thank you all for being there for us and caring enough to make a difference in our lives.  I would not be back to such a peaceful place right now if it hadn't been for all of your help and prayers.

I am ready to DO THIS!!  Come on, Maggie...mommy desperately wants to meet you (and so do a lot of other people)!! :)

38.5 Week Ultrasound

Well, Maggie managed to make it to another Monday for another biophysical profile.  She passed the biophysical profile like she always does, but her heart rate was really high (170's instead of her normal 130's or 140's) so they went ahead and hooked me up to the monitor anyway to see what might be going on.  I was on it for quite a long time and her heart rate kept going up high and then down near normal over and over.  They didn't seem TOO concerned (said since she's so active that could be raising her heart rate, just like when WE are more active, OUR heart rate increases) but wanted to keep monitoring her until the heart rate calmed down so they wouldn't have to send me over to labor and delivery for more monitoring.  They said they would be much more concerned if it was high and stayed high, but since it was up and down everything was probably fine.  At one point I started having some slightly intense contractions and it felt like how Jack's labor started.  I started thinking that my labor might be starting and since my labors go fast I was concerned that if kept waiting around on the monitor that I would possibly get stuck delivering at KU Med (although they would take great care of us, it would mess up my "plan" haha).  So I told her that I wanted to make sure I could get to OPR in time if I really turned out to be in labor so she said as long as I would be okay that I could go ahead and leave.  I told her I was fine but wanted to make sure MAGGIE was fine and that it wouldn't hurt anything for me to leave.  She said everything was fine and they weren't concerned.  So I rushed out of there and...well, everything went back to normal.  False alarm!!  (No pictures today...she was hiding!!)

37.5 Week Ultrasound

Today's biophysical profile went well again and we will do another one next Monday (if Maggie isn't here yet).  We got a couple pictures but the cord was all scrunched up in front of her face so they weren't quite as good as some in the past, but still pretty cute! :)  I can't wait for the day that I'm posting to let you all know we are heading to the hospital!!  And I have pretty quick labors so hopefully there will be a picture of our precious Maggie 4 or 5 hours later! :D

37 Week OB Appt & NICU Consult

Well, I added Maggie's name to my mother-in-law's grandmother bracelet, so now we are officially ready for her to come any day now!! ;)

I had an OB appointment yesterday and I was dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced...we are on our way!

Jon and I also had a NICU consult with an OPR neonatologist, followed by a tour of the NICU.  It was a very informative meeting that gave us a very good idea of what to expect initially when she is born and we are both very comfortable with the facility, level of care, and the extent of involvement and visitation we will have from the beginning and throughout her care.  We are very excited for her arrival!

36.5 Week Ultrasound

Maggie is head down again!!  Yay!! :)  Everything looked good again so we will have our next ultrasound in a week.  The cord was laying across her face so we didn't get any pictures today.

Maternity Photo Session

My good friend and neighbor took these maternity photos today...love them!!! :)

36.5 weeks

36.5 Weeks - Partially Breech

I had an OB appointment this morning during which we discovered that Maggie is no longer head down.  Luckily it seems she is laying sideways instead of completely breech so at this point she should be easy to turn.  I have an appointment at OPR for Wednesday at 10:00 am to try and turn her.  If Monday's ultrasound at KU Med reveals her to again be head down then we will just cancel Wednesday's appointment.  On Wednesday we plan to do an ultrasound to check her position one final time before trying to turn her.  Pray that we can get her to turn or that she turns on her own!!

36 weeks!!

36 weeks today!!  Only ONE week until she is full-term!!!  So exciting!!  So as I ponder her birth that will be here soooo soon...

I discovered that the name Maggie means "Pearl".  I was googling information on pearls and found this description about the birth of a pearl that I thought was very beautiful:

"The birth of a pearl is truly a miraculous event. Unlike gemstones or precious metals that must be mined from the earth, pearls are grown by live oysters far below the surface of the sea. Gemstones must be cut and polished to bring out their beauty. But pearls need no such treatment to reveal their loveliness. They are born from oysters complete -- with a shimmering iridescence, lustre and soft inner glow unlike any other gem on earth." - from http://www.americanpearl.com/historyoyster.html

I also found this scripture that uses a priceless pearl to demonstrate that Jesus and His kingdom are worth giving up EVERYTHING for:

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. When he found one priceless pearl, he went and sold everything he had, and bought it. (Matthew 13:45, 46 HCSB)

And although this is not the meaning of those verses, Maggie's precious life was also worth us giving up everything we had to fight for her from the day she was conceived.  Not just hers, but EVERY baby's life from conception.  And hers will certainly be a "miraculous birth" and she will be born "complete" just as God created her and she will need "no treatment to reveal her loveliness".  She will be born "with a shimmering iridescence, lustre and soft inner glow unlike any other gem on earth."

35.5 Week Ultrasound

We had our weekly biophysical profile today but we also got to do all of the growth measurements again and speak with the doctor.  It's amazing how quick and easy these appointments are when everything looks good! :)  Maggie weighs 6 lbs 4 oz...she's already bigger than her brother Wyatt was when he was born (6 lbs 3 oz)! :)  Her liver looks the same (as expected) and they still couldn't find any fluid in her abdomen.  Yay!  We asked the doc, "Considering where we started, we are pretty much at best case scenario and everything is looking really good, right?"  She agreed that we are definitely looking great considering where we started AS FAR AS WE CAN TELL without her being here yet.  God is so good!!  She wants us to make sure the OPR NICU has a neonatal infectious disease specialist, a neonatal gastroenterologist (stomach and intestines) and a neonatal hepatologist (liver).  I have an OB appointment on Friday and I will inquire about it while I'm there.  Maggie was hiding her face today so we didn't get any pictures.  Thank you all for your continued prayers!! :)

From My Heart to Yours

I don't really want to tell everyone online how much of a mess I have been lately, but I am going to anyway because I DO want to tell everyone how many amazing people God has been using to bless and help us.

 

It often blows my mind how God provides exactly what we need and exactly when we need it. First of all, he set up circumstances to help us through this situation BEFORE it even started. He led me to choose the PERFECT Bible study class that had the PERFECT people (who I had never met but are now friends) who would be in the PERFECT situation in life to help me. While attending that class, I found out that Maggie would "be unlikely to survive". That started a whirlwind of appointments and searching for answers and help. I don't have family in town and most of my friends have at least 2 small children and I didn't want to be dumping my kids on top of their kids. But the Bible study class that God led me to provided me with a babysitter (now friend) who has an incredibly flexible schedule and watches my kids nearly every single time we have high risk appointments! And the few times she wasn't available, God provided a backup babysitter, also from that class, and another backup from church. They all have older kids or kids in college and have been very flexible and available and this has made our appointments so much less stressful knowing that we always have babysitters and that they are taking wonderful care of our kids.

Also, my Bible study class was there for me during the worst of the situation when we didn't know if Maggie would survive or not. They provided emotional support and prayer and I don't know how I would have made it through the beginning of this journey without them wrapping their arms around me. The teacher of the class has been so wonderful about keeping everyone updated on progress and prayer requests after the class ended.

Along this journey there have been so many people reaching out online with words of encouragement and letting us know that they have been praying for us and offering us help. I want to thank you all so much for your support and prayers...it's an amazing feeling to know that when my words and prayers and pleas are all dried up and I just can't pray anymore because I just don't know what else to say, not only does God know my heart and Jesus intercedes for me, but all of you have continued to pray and plea on our behalf for sweet Maggie.

And there have been so many sweet words, gestures, help, encouragement and prayers from so many people here locally. There's nothing I love more than going to my mom's group and other places where I know my family is loved and prayed for and people reach out to us.

I also have a neighbor/friend who has been occasionally watching our kiddos so that Jon and I can take much needed dates. It's an important thing to do, but even more important in this situation when Jon and I really need to be close and supportive of each other. I am so grateful to her and her husband for providing us with those opportunities. She is also a photographer and is going to be taking some very special pictures of my pregnant belly, my labor and delivery, and a couple newborn sessions. How wonderful to be able to capture such special moments after not even knowing if those special moments would even end up happening.

This brings us to the present. God has worked so many miracles for us already and Maggie is doing so much better and things are looking really good. However, I am in the home stretch of the pregnancy and this time it's with two kids at home and during our most challenging pregnancy yet. So now that I have only a month left, my hormones and emotions are going CRAZY and I am a complete mess. Like the biggest mess I have ever been in my entire life (at least it feels like it). All the crazy emotions that God graciously helped me keep under control during the most difficult times are all suddenly being released like a waterfall. Some days it's all I can do to take care of myself and my kids. It's very frustrating because I feel like I should just suck it up and get control, but I have finally resigned myself to the fact that I CAN'T. I just can't do it. I cannot control this. At least not on my own.

Just in the last few days God has provided an outpouring of support for this difficult time in my life. First of all, I can not express enough how amazing my husband is. He has been strong and supportive since the very beginning. Lately I have been quite difficult to live with. I have been incredibly sensitive and emotional and he has endured a lot of me getting upset with him for ridiculous things and he has been giving me grace knowing that this will all be over soon and I will not be such a jerk (my words, not his) for much longer. Also, since I am really struggling to keep up with life, he has started getting groceries, cooking supper, and then cleaning the kitchen after supper most nights so I don't have to. This is after working all day and sometimes even using his lunch break to pick up the groceries. How amazing is he?!? I am so blessed the God gave him to me and that he is the the one by my side through this journey.

I now have OB appointments every week and it has become too much to bring my kids to those appointments and I have two friends who are watching my kids for the rest of those appointments even though they have their own young children at home!! This has further reduced the stress of all my appointments and I am so grateful for them.

A few days ago I had to make the hard decision of quitting the new Bible study class (same teacher and some of the same people in my class who were in the last one) that I just started a few weeks ago. I was sad to do so but I just have more activities than I can handle right now with all of my appointments and my emotional and fatigued condition. Everyone was super supportive of my decision and I know they are continuing to pray.

My Bible study teacher wanted to help us in some way and is organizing some people from class to bring us meals...how amazing is that?? Just one more way God is using people to lift more weight off of our shoulders and bless us. In addition to that, despite finishing up chemo for breast cancer (she has one round left), my mother-in-law has been busy working on a bunch of freezer meals this week to bring to us next time they visit. What a blessing.

Now back to me being a WRECK, I have had so many people available and helpful when I am losing it and and just need encouragement, to talk and cry, or need advice to get me through. My mom, mother-in-law and some close friends have graciously tolerated my emotional breakdowns and have been consistent in encouraging me to accept help and to lean on God first and foremost. 

I have had a couple of friends from my mom's group who have reached out to me to help me at home. One sweet girl is coming to my house soon to help me clean, and the other is coming soon to help me organize and decorate the nursery. How amazing is that?? The help is soooo appreciated, but the friendship and their presence is even more appreciated. I only hope to be as much of a blessing and encouragement to other mom's someday as they have been to me.

All of this support has helped me so much, but the things that is really sustaining me right now is God. Thanks to dear friends and family pointing me in the right direction, I have been trying to remember during the crazy moments when I have no one to help me and I just don't know how I can do it, that God is ALWAYS there and he is my best support. Instead of freaking out in those moments, I need to pour my heart out to my Savior. "The Lord has heard my plea for help; the Lord accepts my prayer." (Psalms 6:9 HCSB). And I need to meditate on His Word because it is truth. "I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me". (Philippians 4:13 HCSB)

I know this is a super long post, but God is just so good and faithful that I just felt like it needed sharing. Dear friends, when you are going through life's toughest trials, He is there. He has not forgotten you. He has not forsaken you. I have known this but now I am living proof of it. He is in every detail of every moment. He will bring you through. And how awesome is it that He has used YOU to help bring me and my family through this trial? Thank you.

35 Weeks!!

I am 35 weeks along today!!  Only 2 weeks until Maggie is full-term!! :)

Another Sign of Improvement!

Today I had another biophysical profile.  I figured it would be like the last couple of ultrasounds: quick, no signs of early delivery, and no new information on her condition.  Well the first two things were correct, but the technician took the time to look around for signs of the remaining fluid.  She couldn't find any!  She found a spot that looked like it COULD be a teeny tiny amount of barely detectable fluid, but she wasn't very convinced that fluid was what she was seeing there.  She took the images to the doc to get her opinion.  The doc agreed...the fluid is either completely gone or there is BARELY any there, but the doc was also not convinced she was actually seeing any fluid.  So exciting!!  We have been praying that God would continue to heal her body while she's in there, and He must be doing just that!! :)  So exciting!  And we got adorable 3D pictures today...can't wait to meet her in person! :)

We Made Our decision!

We have made our decision!  We will be delivering Maggie at Overland Park Regional Medical Center.  They have a level 3b NICU and I have heard great things about them!  I'm very happy we will be delivering there for several reasons.  First of all, I get to continue with my regular OB doctor and she will get to deliver Maggie.  Secondly, I delivered Jack there and so I am already familiar with them and had a good experience!  Lastly, IF Maggie ends up in their great NICU for any length of time, OP Regional is only a 15 to 17 minute drive versus 35 minutes to KU Med.  If we end up shuffling back and forth between the hospital and home, OP Regional will be much more convenient.

Thank you all again for your continued prayers!  I am just so grateful and excited to meet this precious little girl that has already touched so many people.  I just can't wait to see what God has in store for her life!! :)

33.5 Week Ultrasound

I had my weekly Biophysical Profile (ultrasound) done again today.  They check for things like practice breathing, certain types of kicks and movements, and sufficient amniotic fluid.  It was very quick and and went well...so quick we didn't even get any pictures.  Hopefully next time!  I will go back for my next one Monday at 1:30.

In Awe of an Awesome God

I was just re-reading the post about the news we got on January 8th (if you haven't read it yet, read the post titled "MRI Results").  I am continually in awe that God would bless us with this miracle.  It is exciting, amazing and humbling.  I am just so grateful.  It is really hard and scary to wait these last 5 or 6 weeks until she is born to find out the status of her health...but at this point, how could I NOT fully trust that she is in His hands?  He loves her so much and He wants the best for her.  I don't know what "the best for her" will end up being, but He does and I will trust His will.  He did, after all, send His Son to die for Maggie so that she can have everlasting life through Him.  What an awesome and loving God we serve.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)

Meeting with the Neonatologist

Today's ultrasound went well and showed no new information.  We then spoke with a neonatologist from the KU Med NICU.  She explained the things we should expect after Maggie is born and then expanded on multiple scenarios that could play out and what they would entail.  I will not explain those scenarios here because we really won't know anything for sure until she is born.  We will just update everyone on what DOES happen instead of what COULD happen.  What we DO know is that she will be taken to the NICU right away for observation and testing.  She will not get to eat right away until they thoroughly examine her.  Beyond that it branches into a ton of different scenarios and treatments and outcomes depending on their findings.  We are still undecided on which facility we will deliver.  We need to get a little more information before we make a decision.  Overall the neonatologist answered a ton of our questions and prepared us as well as she could under the circumstances.  Please pray that Maggie continues to heal between now and when she is born so she will need minimal or no medical intervention.  Our next ultrasound is next Monday at 1:00.  Thank you all for your continued prayers!!!

31.5 Week Ultrasound

Here is a summary of today's ultrasound: 

• Maggie is measuring in the 48th percentile and is 4 lbs 1 oz now...completely average!

• The tiny amount of fluid we saw in her abdomen last time still remains and is still not a major concern. 

• Her liver still looks the same. The ultrasound shows the same calcification on the capsule (the lining around the liver) that we have been seeing all along. The doc said they expect to see it there for the rest of the pregnancy. It is a sign that there HAS BEEN infection. It does not indicate whether or not there still is or isn't an infection.

• At this point we most likely know all we are going to know until she is born. We could still see the fluid decrease or go away, but other than that, things will most likely appear pretty much the same from here on out and the next time we will be able to gain MORE information on her condition will be when she is born. Then we will be able to run tests to find out if she had an infection and if she still has one or not. 

• We will, however, be doing weekly ultrasounds from now on to keep a close eye on her. Our next ultrasound will be next Monday the 3rd. We will also meet with a neonatologist during that appointment to discuss possible medical issues to prepare for and which hospitals would be able to accommodate those possible issues. 

 Thank you all so much for your prayers!! Things look absolutely GREAT compared to how they looked over 12 weeks ago! There is still a lot we don't know so please continue to pray hard for our baby girl. Pray that even though we can't necessarily detect it, that she continues to heal. Pray for peace despite the unknown. 

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6 NIV) 

 And PRAISE Him for the miracles and healing we have already seen, and the unbelievable peace he has provided through this entire situation!!

30 Weeks!!

30 WEEKS TODAY!!!!! :)

MRI Results

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

•10 weeks ago today (19 weeks):  "This is not a baby who is likely to survive.  Sorry.  If you are still pregnant in a week we will do another sono."

•1 week later (20 weeks):  "There is so much fluid that IF this baby ends up surviving the pregnancy, the lungs just wouldn't have room to develop."

•1 week later (almost 22 weeks):  "You guys seem to be pretty optimistic...you may want to tone that down a bit."

•The next day:  "It appears she has a viral infection.  The liver is infected, the fluid doesn't seem to currently be hurting anything, and I'm seeing overlapping sutures in the skull, a sign that her brain has shrunk.  I have only seen that in babies who have already died.  She could possibly survive, but if she does, damage has already been done and there WILL be issues [with the brain].  One of your options is that you have two healthy kids at home and maybe you just don't want to deal with this right now..."

•3 weeks later (25 weeks):  "Things look about the same and I don't think there will be any issues with the lungs developing and I think there is a good chance she will at least survive the pregnancy!  We will do an MRI to see how much damage has been done to the brain so we can get an idea of what to expect."

•3.5 weeks later (almost 29 weeks):  "Wow, the fluid is almost gone!  Liver looks about the same and we aren't seeing the issue with the skull but that could just be the angle so it doesn't necessarily mean improvement.  We will see what the MRI shows."

•2 days later (TODAY, 29 weeks):  "The MRI showed the brain to look VERY NORMAL."

Again, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"(Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

WOW!!!!  VERY NORMAL!!!  We just witnessed a miracle...one that we all were faithfully praying for!  Thank You, Jesus...and thank you all so much for your prayers!!  We are just so excited  and emotional (and a little in shock) about this news!  She is still a sick baby so please continue to pray for her.  They still believe there is or has been a very serious infection and the liver is still a concern...hopefully we will be given a little more information about the liver issue at our next appointment/sono in 3 weeks.

Thanks again for your prayers for sweet Maggie...keep them coming!  He is faithful!! :D

Ultrasound and MRI

Phewww!!!  What a day!!!  Here is a summary of our two appointments:

• The fluid in the abdomen is nearly all gone!!  There is only a small amount left!!  Praise God!!  This is such awesome news, totally unexpected and an answer to prayer!!  Thank you all for continuing to hope and pray for this! :)

• The ultrasound showed the liver still looking about the same as last time.

• The skull did not appear to have the overlapping plates during this sono as it did on the previous two sonos.  Although it COULD mean improvement, it could also just look different because it was a different angle, so the doc wasn't about to make any assumptions about it.

• The MRI technician guessed that the MRI would probably take an hour since babies don't hold completely still.  Well, here is proof that I am NOT making it up when I say Maggie moves like crazy:  the MRI ended up taking TWO AND A HALF HOURS!!!  She just wouldn't stop moving!  Talk about torture...I hope I never have to do that again!!

• The good news is they DID get what they needed...yay!!  I'm hoping to get a call with the results tomorrow.

No matter what we find out tomorrow, we still know this:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16 NIV)

And we still know this:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)

Please continue to pray to the God of miracles for continued improvement for Maggie and good results from the MRI tomorrow.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

Prayer for Tomorrow

At about this time tomorrow we will be doing an MRI.  We have an ultrasound at 1:30 and then the MRI at 3:30.  Both at KU Med.  Please pray that Maggie holds as still as possible for the clearest images possible.  Pray for peace for us, wisdom for the medical professionals, and good results from the MRI.  You can also pray what our precious Wyatt prays EVERY SINGLE NIGHT before bed (without being prompted):  "Dear Jesus, please help Maggie grow right."  Love him so much.

Special Day!

Today is a special day!!  No, not because it's New Year's Day or my 31st birthday.  On Halloween day, when I was about 19 weeks along, I was told Maggie wasn't likely to survive, and IF she was still alive at 20 weeks we would do another sono.  Well guess what?  I am 28 weeks today and I am officially starting the THIRD TRIMESTER!!!  That's the best birthday present I could ever hope for!!  Doctor's Opinion - 0, God's Plan - 1 (well technically a gazillion).  

Happy New Year everyone!!  2014 is going to be one crazy ride for us, but I'm so excited to meet Maggie and see what amazing things God has planned for her and for us!! :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers!  We have a sono and an MRI on Maggie scheduled for the afternoon of Jan 6th.  Pray that we have another positive appointment!!!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

P.S.  Maggie is kicking me like crazy as I type this! :)